Jane: endurance, risk and love

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Fear is adrenaline-infused contractile aversion, manifesting as a mildly to profoundly unpleasant gripping sensation that compellingly and viscerally announces: I am not safe, I am threatened, I am in danger...

I feel so confused today. Tomorrow is judgment day, I want to rest, I'm real tired and so fed up...I've been studying for how many years? Since I was 5. I want to face my fears with courage and compassion, stand at the threshold of a dimension where an intoxicatingly sober sanity blooms. My fear slams into me with such shocking force, I am left devastated...

I can hear the pounding sounds of my heartbeat, I'm an insomniac now, sheesh... Will I march on the stage on the 16th? Will I ever claim my glory once again? Questions that keeps on repeating on my mind...For how many years, I've been earning medallions, this time, it doesn't matter if I can earn one, I just wanted to have my diploma, get out of school and face the real world...

I'm not exerting enough effort on my studies, yes I know, grrr...I don't like this, I don't like that, but I endured for 4 years studying the art of drug-pushing, decapitating and the art of potion-making, abra cadabra, hocus pocus and blah blah... Since childhood I've been exposed to all these, and I'm real tired. This is not my field, but I chose to be here.

Tomorrow is a new day, I'll face all my fears...

12:09 AM endurance, risk and love

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The past still haunts me, but it's nice to be home...

Yes, I failed,but I want to remind myself that success could not be measured by how many battles I've won, but on the way I fought the war...

Today, I fought for my dead guildsman, Razmuz..

Wherever you are brother, may you be in peace, your memories will linger in our hearts forever...

"Sieze the day, enjoy life" , those are the words I usually hear from you, that made me realize that despite the pain, the fear and the loneliness, I have to move on. Though the family we once have no longer existed, that it fade the day you left this world...remember the promises I gave you, `til the last breath, we will still be together...

The song in the background are echoes of the love, the friendship and hopes we all share:

"You and I, flying high...

You are my love in a lifetime...

the love is around,

I played so many times, in many nights,

but you know my soul, was for you and care for you...

Like the most precious memories,

I will be the one to save out for you,

just keep lovin` me through...

we'll love you and feel you ...

Whenever it's so hard for you to face,

remember the promises I gave you...

Nothing can stop us, nothing...

as long as we are together...

You and I... "

9:58 PM endurance, risk and love

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The pain is quiet unbearable...

The last trace of my sacrifice and that of my guildsmen was gone along with the memories of hope, love and happiness. For three months we fought a tough battle not just against our enemies but against our own weaknesses, tears had been shed, damages inflicted and the pain will always remain. Yes, I feel bitterness inside. Guess, nothing more can outdo the twinge of the ruthless words I heard, nothing can surpass the sympathy I felt for those who left excruciating just to win the battle. I feel their eagerness to start once again, to show their best as warriors in this battlefield… there was a spark of hope that persuaded me to go on and fight, my sacrifice…not for my own but for the family I love…

I am just a humble and a weak warrior once, hopeful that one day I may be a part of them…the people I have high regards with. I attained the highest honor as a warrior; won the toughest fight…I am strong against my enemy, yet weak against my loved ones… I don’t understand…I honestly don’t. All I know is to look after them at all cost, risk my life and everything that I have for our own glory.

My doomed dark days...

6:08 PM endurance, risk and love

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Energy....Stuck in a moment in the past,
The present, now and always.
Forever one with the universe...
The universe torn in two pieces.
And never again will it shine.
The words fall from broken lips,
The mouth trembles with anticipation.
Waiting, and seeing behind the blades of infinity.
Only in our lifetime.Running backwards fowards,
Skipping stones in an endless stream...Life.
Following the rythm of earth,
We seek what we can never know.
Higher it pulls us into the nothingness of mankind.
Our own destruction we have created.
Filling the air with darkness, and it drips So slowly now.
The earth trembles, and our bones are weak.
Never again may we remember what never was.
Further into the ground...Digging for words
of past civilizations...Never again.
Seeking truth, But believing the lies.
What is hidden from us, Is what we were before.
Washing the brain,With sounds of structure and chaos.
Together as one, yet never united.
Tying up our thoughts with myths and lore.
Fiction never seemed so real. Now we sit quiet,
Almost waiting for the end to come.
A weary spirit comes from deep within,
It pours out it's sadness to the earth.
Fields of laughter,From the children who will never know.
Discussion, remembrance, And what the future holds,
It is all to bright for human eyes.
When the sun comes closer,Bringing with it secrets,
and promises. Complete fulfillment.
One more time around, One more day to live.
Everything matters when nothing does.

2:14 PM endurance, risk and love

la femme ;

WELLA JANE dual-natured,elusive, complex and contradictory, have the virtue of versatility, on the other the vices of two-facedness and flightiness, very attractive; when feel bad is worse for being the charmer that she is. Lively, and happy, egocentric, imaginative and restless

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I LOVE:
MUSIC, rock and metal, animes, black nail polish, nicotine, PC Games, pocketbooks, foods: Chinese, Italian, Pinoy foods, beer, MONEY! Yeah!

I HATE:
Gossips, low-life people, cockroaches, all thing dirty, and everything that YOU hate!

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come lets shout;

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soundbox ;

MP3 Player!

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animes ;

I love watching Anime, so I would like to share to you some anime sites I ~~love~~ to surf. Anyway, this is not complete, but I promise to complete the list soon. Enjoy!

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bloggers list ;

This are my friends, personal and online. You could also check out their BLOGS if you want!

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the gamers ;

If you are interested in eSports, these definitely are the links for you. Click on them and you will be directed to their respective sites. Keep on gaming!

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so yesterdays ;

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
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thanks to ;